Understanding and Supporting Behaviour in a Trauma-Informed Way 🧊
Jun 19, 2024
When we encounter behaviour that challenges us, it's easy to focus solely on what's visible—the behaviour itself. However, behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg. Beneath the surface lies a complex web of unspoken needs, emotions, and experiences - and potential past trauma. For example, 'I am scared, I do not trust you to keep me safe'. To truly support individuals, especially children, we must go beyond the behaviour and delve into these underlying needs.
🧊 The Hidden World Beneath Behaviour
Behaviour often serves as a form of communication, especially for those who may not have the words to express their feelings and needs. When a child acts out, it's essential to ask, "What is this behaviour trying to tell us?" By shifting our perspective, we can begin to see behaviour as a clue rather than a problem. This approach allows us to understand the root causes and respond in a way that addresses these deeper issues.
👁️ Identifying and Addressing Underlying Needs
Once we identify the needs driving the behaviour, we can take steps to address them. This might involve creating a safer environment, providing emotional support, or offering resources that help the individual cope with their experiences. Addressing these needs not only helps in managing the behaviour but also paves the way for trusting relationships and meaningful and lasting change.
🤝 The Power of Connecting, Co-Regulating, and Co-Reflecting
Children, in particular, don't heal from trauma through consequences alone. Instead, the power lies in:
- Connecting: Building strong trusting relationships is the foundation of trauma-informed care. When children feel connected to a caring adult, they are more likely to open up and express their needs.
- Co-Regulating: Helping children manage their emotions through co-regulating is crucial. This involves guiding them through their emotional responses and teaching them how to self-soothe and find calm.
- Co-Reflecting: Reflecting on experiences in a patient way together allows children to process what has happened in a non-shaming way. Co-reflecting helps to understand their own and others' emotions and behaviour, fostering insight, growth and resilience.
⚙️ Relationship Repair
Following a relationship rupture (i.e. behaviour that challenges) - the most important focus is to repair the relationship as quickly as possible. Sanctions and punishments just serve to damage relationships further, worsening behaviour in the long run. Children who have experienced trauma may worry they have ruined everything forever due to their past experiences. It is down to us to support the child in feeling comfortable to re-connect with us. This will be what changes the behaviour in the long run.
Creating a Supportive Environment 🌍
Implementing trauma-informed practices requires a shift in how we view and respond to behaviour. It's about creating a supportive environment where individuals feel understood and valued. This approach not only benefits those directly affected by trauma but also promotes a culture of empathy and compassion.
Conclusion
By looking beyond behaviour and focusing on the underlying needs, we can make a profound difference in the lives of those we support. Connecting, Co-Regulating and Co-Reflecting are powerful tools in this journey. Together, we can create environments where healing and positive behaviour change are possible.
Let’s work together to foster a culture of understanding and support. 
